well this year was ALOT of firsts for me, it was great. i think i have finally found myself in the mist of everything that has happened this year. maybe it takes a lightpole, or a reconsilation with an old friend, or maybe i just needed to fall in love, whatever it is i know who the true me is now. not that i can explain it to you but i just know. at the begining of sophomore year i was a confused little girl, now at the end ive evolved into young knowledgeble women. now im not saying that i know everything because i dont, but i have undergone some serious changes this year, mentally, emotionally, and physically.while i know i'll always be a little girl at heart and i'll always wish i could go back to the days were skinned knees and the cost of bubble gum was my biggest problem, in reality i know i can never go back there again. i can only grow from here and even though i know there will be times that i really dont want to go on any farther i know that someone will be right behind me pushing me towards the best i can be. whether it be a boyfriend, family, friends, husband, god who knows where i'll be in 7 or 8 years, just thought of it alone scares the hell out of me. but in essence i'm still in highschool and i still have a year and a half left to go. gettin out of highschool as soon as possible is my first priority at the moment. even though i know that 15 yers from now i'll look back and still wish i was in higschool. i'm not really worried about that because if what i have in highschool now is so great then i shall have it 15 years from now still. and if i dont then it couldnt have been THAT great right? i know that there are friends that i have now that i'll be friends with all the way up untill were old and grey, god i hope it doesnt get that bad! hah. but thats what i look forward to, growing old with the one i love, and having my best friend from highschool be my maid of honor at my wedding. so when people say you know youll look back years from now and wish you didnt get out of highschool early, i beg to differ because i dont want to live in the past, nothing lasts forever, only in the past. in esence everything eventually comes to an end whether we like it or not. and while we all wish that certain things wont end, we are all prepare for the worst even if we dont know it. i dont look forward to living in the present physically but mentally and emotionally living in the past. i dont find that to help/add anything to your current life. its more like living in regret and wishing you'd have done something differently, so if thats your cup of tea that god bless but its not mine. it's my life and im gonna live it how i want to, so please dont tell me otherwise.